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Hypocrisy and Unhealthy Narcissism

January 4, 2011

Hypocrisy is the state of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy involves the deception of others and is thus a kind of lie.

Hypocrisy is not simply failing to practice those virtues that one preaches. Samuel Johnson made this point when he wrote about the misuse of the charge of “hypocrisy” in Rambler No. 14:

Nothing is more unjust, however common, than to charge with hypocrisy him that expresses zeal for those virtues which he neglects to practice; since he may be sincerely convinced of the advantages of conquering his passions, without having yet obtained the victory, as a man may be confident of the advantages of a voyage, or a journey, without having courage or industry to undertake it, and may honestly recommend to others, those attempts which he neglects himself.

As I stated in my book on unhealthy narcissists,: Do not believe what they say, believe what they do. Unhealthy narcissists will say whatever is necessary to gain what they want, and what they want is always self-serving. They behave in two identifiable ways: (i) they behave in ways to garner high quality attention; (ii) they are driven by a need to be dominant.

They will lie, tell half-lies, cajole, charm, exploit, manipulate, use overt or covert control tactics to achieve their aims, and otherwise deceive others (see my post on the Art of Deception). They are controllers, arrogant in their stance, oftentimes attaching themselves to a noble cause to embellish their grandiose false-self, are performers by nature, insistent on their way, unapologetic for their bad behavior, and will act in contrary ways as a means to keep others off balance. Unhealthy narcissism is not one thing, it is a group of personality traits and is evident in a persistent pattern of behavior.

Find out more in my book, It Has A Name! available through Amazon, Kindle, Sony Smashwords, and hard copies through Create Space through links on this web site.

Source: Wikipedia

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